Dreading it!

Give a dread a home….

Both pale and blonde  they rarely surface before midday preferring to languish in their king sized bed that has not been washed for the last two months. Presumably this is so they can recognise the bed as their own at 4am in the morning.

The Dreads enjoy water, and will soak for hours (ignoring the water meter) in the bath or shower.  Dreads must be fed 4 or 5 times a day in normally large quantities plus several gallons of liquid which needs to be available at all times.

Dreads can walk animals but will need a gold medal for recognition that this has been achieved. Dreads can also cook dinner but will need at least 3 weeks to get over it.  Bathroom cleaning is a no no as both are incapable of understanding the words ‘to clean’ and cannot muster enough strength to lift the bleach bottle.

Dreads can wash clothes but will usually place washing in front of the machine in the vague hope that the clothes will become magical and leap into the washing machine.  It is unknown as to whether the Dreads know how to empty the drier, as this has never been discovered.  Dreads do not wash up dishes, they merely eat and take over the settee and TV accompanied by every single possible light in the house all switched to the ON mode.

The Dreads are sympathetic, kind and can be very funny (housekeeping £50 pcm) but the owner is usually frazzled, short tempered and usually speaks with intermittent swearing.

If you would like to give a Dread a home, please remember, a Dread is not just for Christmas – they have a tendency to stay up to 23 years – even longer.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone

xx

Bentwater - Military Style!

An email was sent to me - was I available to be filmed on the American airbase at Bentwater Park Rendlesham? I knew the area fairly well as I had performed in a show there previously.  Once confirmed, I discovered it was to be a 1950s theme - military style. 

It was a Saturday, 9am when I  landed at Bentwater Parks. On my way in I passed somebody I knew, Jon, a lovely man that that I had worked with on several occasions including X Men. I parked up and wandered over to say Hello and we walked around the outside of the Control Tower looking for anyone connected with the filming. Eventually a car pulled up outside the Portacabin and a couple of people walked inside so we followed. Fortunately they turned out to be the costume people so we were in the right place after all.
We had been asked to come dressed in uniform type clothing so I wore a plain shirt with  a black skirt. black tights and black shoes. However, we all had to look vaguely similar so blue shirts and ties were issued out. At this point a car pulled up and out got another person I knew - Luke. In  the end there were seven men and me - I was happy! Usually if there is only one woman then there is something expected of them... I was about to find out what! Once everybody had arrived we were taken over to the Bentwaters Museum. We stepped through the doors to the words "Cast on Set!" and were taken to meet the Director and the crew. An ex-officer from the original air base was also there to brief us as to what the control room would have been like when in full operation. Inside  the Operations room was a long high platform like a stage.
"Felicity, you're up there."
I clambered up and put on some headphones grabbing a white board pencil as I went. Behind me was a huge board with a list of Pilots names. I was warned not to touch certain one as they had been left from when the operations room was last used during the war. That made me very nervous! However, I could write on the board once filming started and could make up names etc plus tick off various boxes. Well, as I didn't know anything about what i was doing, I was more than a little anxious about the impending improvisation when "Action!" was shouted. I only had minutes to study the boards befoe vocalizing what I was doing to camera!
Name of Pilot...
Fuelled....
Crew list....

Fortunately I can talk away to the camera endlessly which was just as well as the camera was centimetres away from my head. Next to the camera was a photographer taking pictures - all this whilst I 'listened' to my head set (which was totally silent) and wrote on the boards making up names and ticking off whether they had fuelled, ready for take off etc. At some point a bunch of files were given to me so I had to include these in the scenario as well.
I must say I quite enjoyed it, being put on the spot because I never know what it is I'm going to say but somehow my brain gets itself into gear for 'play' mode!
Luckily the Director turned round and said, " That was really believable - I really thought we had planes taking off!"
Lunch was called and we all trooped back to the portacabin. Everyone expected sandwiches but a beautiful hot meal of pork in tomato sauce with potatoes followed by apple crumble and coffee was swiftly provided.
Back on set I was given a white coat and a torch. I was now a Doctor and had to frisk one of the pilots (I know, I know, it's a tough job but someone has to do it!) find out how the pilot was feeling and then get him to follow me to.....well, just off set acturally!
It's at time like these that I think how lucky I am to do  this job . It's not every day that adults get to play act and to be  someone completely different for the day. I mean, what other job  could offer such a variety?

News Reporter!

This was a continuity day carrying on from the  previous weekend. The call time was a 7.15 start so it was a slightly bleary eyed start to the day. I arrived so early that the catering truck hadn't started to cook yet but had prepared the most wonderful fresh fruit salad so armed with a bowl of that I went off to find the dining bus. People arrived in dribs and drabs and Stefan and Jack arrived just in time for the cooked breakfast. Of course, I couldn't sit there and watch them eat could I so I grabbed a fry up and joined them. Shortly afterwards, Blondine, our A.D asked us to grab our costume so we were ready to travel to location. We arrived at the offices where we were to be reporters and grabbed a seat upstairs whilst the lights and cameras were brought in and  situated  into place. As we were talking I suddenly heard a very familiar voice. Now, most actors and actress's rarely get my heart racing and I have never been known to be star struck. However, this sounded like one of my favourite personalities - surely I couldn't be that lucky to meet her?  I crept downstairs and was immediately told to sit down at desk and pretend to be working. That was all very well but I still wanted to look round to see if it was HER.  Finally the Director asked me to do some reaction shots towards the actresses - I looked round - YES! It was my favourite - Maureen Lipman. It isn't often, as I said before, that I get excited but when it's an actress that can play and has played just about everything and anything then I knew we were in for a treat. This was a small shoot in a very small office to I hoped I could properly meet her at some stage. Maureen was in character so I ignored who she was and concentrated on the job in hand. I was sat next to Maureen, Stefan was  the coffee boy, demoted from the Editor. We had previously given ourselves characters and Stefan was the Editor, I was Chief Reporter and Jack was the Junior Reporter. However, our real characters was Stefan as coffee boy, me as admin assistant and Jack as Office Junior! 

Now, there is an unwritten rule if you are a professional Supporting artist - NEVER talk to the main artists unless they talk to you.  That's fine until you find yourself in a small room with 3 of the main actors. It becomes an awkward situation as you don't want to be seen as being stand-offish but neither do you want to be too much the other way either! Fortunately, Maureen flashed a smile so I thought we were probably OK.

Anyway, like I said, my job was to give reaction shots to something that Maureen was saying. Easy Peasy. I grabbed a pad of paper, scribbled down the name of the paper and started making a spider diagram of the different stories that could be happening in a village newspaper. I got so into it that I nearly missed  my cue! Regretfully, I left it on the desk at the end of the day so whoever used that desk for their normal day job must have had a bit of fun guessing what the stories were all about.

Change of clothes next - shooting a different day. I had 3 other outfits so not a problem. I dressed into my next outfit (always wear a vest top as you may get caught out having to change in front of others). We were asked to wait outside which was o.k. but it had started to rain and although I had an umbrella it was a little on the small side for all three of us.  The door opened and Blondine said, quite seriously, "Don't get wet!" Easy for her to say as she was inside....

All of a sudden it was back to the first outfit as some shots had been missed out. Back into my first outfit and back to my desk to make up more stories.

Finally, lunch was called. This was to be a brief lunch of half an hour so we all hurried as quickly as possible back to base for our fish and chip lunch. My fish was so big that it over hung the very large plate it was placed on. Toblerone cake followed on with lashings of cream and then the call came to go back to location.

When we arrived at the offices I went upstairs to read my book...I could feel myself going off to sleep - it was  warm, I was cosy and dry and well fed....I scurried down the stairs for some coffee and found a large tray of cakes - they certainly didn't believe in going hungry on this set! Coffee grabbed, the sun had started shining so I sat on the wall outside. Maureen came out and said,

"We haven't been introduced, I'm Maureen." It was a lovely moment and we chatted about people having bad memories for names especially as Jack was forever being called Mark by myself. The rest of the day went smoothly with no more filming for me so it was just a case of hanging around in case I was needed. 

Now, it has been it the press recently that this particular series doesn't pay well. However, nobody does it for the money - it has continuous actors and supporting artists because everybody loves it, the location is always amazing the crew and cast are warm and friendly. I, for one, look forward to returning - Here's to the next time!!

The Bolly Folly!

Following on from the previous day on Bollywood, I received a text to say there would be no parking at the base the next day which was in Waterloo. I was still required to take everything with me so a huge bag was duly located and filled with suits, dresses, evening dresses, etc. The call time was 7am and it was teeming down with rain as I walked up to the tube. The location itself was in a disused car park which was muddy and full of puddles waiting to catch me out... There was only one bus for everyone to sit on ( yesterday there was two) and the upstairs was being used for make up and costume. This would have been fine on a lovely sunny day but the rain didn't want to let up, the bus was packed full of people and there was nowhere to sit to eat breakfast so I gave up with that. I grabbed a coffee and stayed outside underneath an awning trying to keep dry. Luckily Steve was there to put a smile on my face and to give me a much needed cuddle. 

It wasn't long before we were put into the minibus to go off to the filming location which was a restaurant in Borough. The restaurant itself was beautiful if a little expensive - I mean £7.95 for an apple crumble and custard!) and very cold. I was lucky enough to be sat at a table with two interesting people, Big Al and Dionne which thankfully, so we were able to keep ourselves  entertained whilst freezing our bits off. The only bit of action needed was to converse with the waiter which probably wouldn't be seen on camera plus miming conversation with my fellow dinner guests.

One poor man fell asleep which caused much mirth as his fellow dinner guest was a beautiful young lady who seemed most put out at his sleepiness. It turned out that he had arrived straight from a night shoot and after this shoot was going off to another one. 

Finally, they filming was completed and we were released into the empty Borough Market to shelter from the rain which was now coming down in torrents. Fortunately someone discovered the hidden coffee and biscuits so at least we could all warm up. Some people had opted for a 12 hour day, I had opted for an 8 hour day (thank goodness) and the 12 hour people were led away to change into summer wear - I have never been so pleased to do a short day! As for the rest of us we were taken back to base to await further information. We sat in the bus and chatted and swapped stories and agencies when finally the word went round that we had finished - we were to sign out, have lunch and leave. I didn't stay for the lunch part but ran as quickly as possisble back to the warm and dry tube train before returning home for a long hot shower. I think this may be the end of Bollywood as I know it!

The Best of ....... Bollywood??

Text: Was I available to return to filming for the Bollywood movie? Two days work available so I agreed.
Now,  the trouble is with Bollywood is that you have to be prepared to take your entire wardrobe with you. On this  occasion I was asked to bring:
3 - 4 very smart day and evening options
Jewellery
Scarves
Pashminas.
Luckily I have a car otherwise I'm not sure how I would have carried everything. Anyway, I loaded up the car and set off for the City. I arrived at base way too early so took my time sorting out the clothes and managed to take a couple of  photos of the surrounding area:

I had decided to wear my business suit as I thought  it would be likely to start the day with a business meeting. I was right and after a fried breakfast we were all taken by minibus to a restaurant that was previously used for filming. I was given a man as my business partner and within seconds out came the grape juice and plates with remnants of dinner on them. Bollywood filming always takes ages as everything seems to be filmed at least 20 times so you  always know that wherever you have been placed, you will be there for the next two hours... On the other hand, it was easy work in a lovely atmosphere and all we had to do was to pretend to eat, drink and talk.  Finally, filming moved to shoot from a different angle and as we couldn't be seen we were able to get up and stretch our legs and were free to find the coffee and biscuits. This is always a bit like a treasure hunt - I have no idea why they don't like us to find them and they always seem to be in a secret  location.  Anyway, I finally tracked the coffee down and went off to the conservatory to find a friend of mine, Jon. As soon as I put the coffee down on the table the A. D  called,

"Lunch!"

Now, lunch on a Bollywood can be very strange. The Indian food is for cast and crew only and not for anyone  else. Off we went to the catering truck where roast port and all the trimmings were waiting for us. During lunch we were informed that for the afternoon there were too many of us so some would have to go home. This found us, after having eaten, all standing in a straight line whilst one of the A.Ds chose who they wanted. Believe me when I say what an unpleasant experience this was - it took me right back to school days when  the Captains would slowly build up  their teams by choosing people one by one and I was always left thinking "Please don't leave me till last!"

Various people were pulled to one side - they were going home.  It was such an awkward situation as not only were they going home but they would only be paid for half the day. People had come from all over, three ladies in particular, had come from Southend and were dismayed to find themselves going home. However, the A.D was adamant so home they headed.

As for the rest of us, we were told to change into our second outfit - preferably another suit. Well, I have to tell you, that yes I do have another suit but I hadn't worn this particular suit for a good two years.... I squeezed into this suit which was too tight and too short - especially when I sat down....and then even worse news. We were to take our cars and drive ourselves into Southwark. I was very unhappy at this as I knew the building they wanted to film at and I knew that parking would be extremely limited even on a Sunday. Why they couldn't run us there in a minibus I will never understand.  If I am told at the beginning of a job that I may need to use my car then that's fine. It then becomes my choice. However, being told I had to take my car just  about made my blood boil... On hindsight I should have said "No thanks" and gone home with the first lot.  We couldn't even pair up as we were told all the cars couldn't stay where they were so they all had to be moved. I drove round and round looking for a space - the agency called me twice to see where I was - I was just at the point of giving up when somebody moved and I grabbed the space. It then started raining... We hadn't been given the name of the street the  building was in, just the building name so it took some time,  and a lot of asking people as to where it was .

For the rest of the afternoon, I sat beside some magazines and read them cover to cover in the background of the shot.  We eventually finished  late afternoon and were told to return  tomorrow at a different location. Great - I was really looking forward to it....

Newshounds!

Text: Can you play a newspaper reporter for a TV  show (the one with the most deaths in one place). I had worked on this before, albeit a different series so I knew that the cast and crew would be very welcoming. Having agreed, the job was confirmed.

On the day I travelled off to Buckinghamshire (can't say where just yet!) to a most beautiful location. The call time was 11.15am so I drove through the countryside, birds singing, sun shining (for once) at a lovely slow place - don't worry there were no other drivers :)

I arrived early so went off for a coffee on the catering bus to wait for the others. It was very strange waiting by myself as usually there would be someone to greet me and to tell me how the day was going to pan out. At the very least there would  normally be another member of cast to talk  to.

I peered outside - one man was sauntering past the coffee place and tI thought I recognised him, I smiled and said hello. It wasn't until a lot later that I realised that it was the actor Ace Bhatti who played Doctor Yusef Khan in Eastenders. 

I have to mention what a lovely person he was - not pretentious, and made everybody feel as if they were in a team. He had a very wicked sense of humour too!

Suddenly a mini bus pulled up and a man called out

"Are you press?" I nodded.

"Come on then, there's another one here too."

The other person was a handsome young man called Jack. Well, his real name was Jack but for some reason I couldn't stop calling him Mark!  We got in to the mini bus a little surprised that there was no one else with us and traveled to location. There was a church / community centre opposite a cafe, or what I took to be a cafe. Even when I went inside the place I thought it was an old fashioned coffee place. We were put on to a table and given huge slices of coffee and walnut cake and Victoria cream sponge to eat. We didn't eat them because usually food on set has been there for a number of days. You can imagine my dismay, a few hours later when I saw my cake being eaten by someone on set!!
Two others were brought on to set and were asked to stand beside a door leading from the cafe into the 'museum'. One turned round and I realised it was the lovely Fabio who I had had the pleasure of working with on previous productions. Fabio was to play the part of a participant in a yoga class with three others - this was their second day.
"Action!"
"Cut!"
We were taken into the  Community Centre where Jack and I met reporter number three, Stefan.  He was just as I'd imagined a newspaper editor to be, a large man with a booming voice and I could just imagine him downing a few pints down the local pub collecting a few newsworthy stories. We decided between ourselves that these would be our character, Stefan as Editor, myself as Chief Reporter and Jack as Junior Reporter.
Blondine (probably the 3rd A.D) came in and said,
"I want someone who can pick things up quickly!"
Everyone murmered that they all could and I said we all could as that  was part of our  job.
"You'll do."
Next thing I know I'm  a Scene of Crime Officer (wait a minute - wasn't I supposed to be the reporter?) known as a SOCO for  short. Next I was given the outfit, a fetching one piece in jaycloth blue with plastic bags for shoe covers, gloves and a mask. As Ace was opposite me, you can imagine the ribbing I was getting....My job was to dust down one of the doors (no, silly or course I'm not going to tell you which door - that would give you a clue and clues can only be revealed in the series.)  Several passerbys stood and gawped looking quite shocked until they turned their heads and noticed the crew waving at them from behind the camera.  This scene didn't take long and we were soon heading back towards base for a brief lunch.  The catering is well known for its excellence and this day was to be no exception with chicken curry, salad, puddings etc. However, time was tight so we were very soon heading back to location to be reporters heading back to our offices presumerably after their lunch!  Thereafter not much happened sadly so we were quite relieved when the words
"It's a wrap!" sounded out loud and clear. We were also very happy as we knew that the reporters would all be back next week to work inside the offices and would be working with.....well, you''ll just have to wait for that one!

Crowning Glory!

A job appeared on Starnow for diners that were happy to eat pizza in front of a camera  for a comedy viral. I'm not the biggest fan of pizza - let's face it, it can be boring to eat but thought I'd apply anyway. I forgot all about it until my mobile rang and I was confirmed for the job - brilliant! I was asked to go along the following day to a place  in Tottenham Court Road. The call time had changed from 10am to 8am which irked me slightly but then again, early start, early finish (honestly, anybody would think I didn't like this job!). Lovely friendly people greeted me when I walked in with a lovely runner asking if I wanted anything from Pret. For once, I declined food and asked for a coffee instead. A man walked in to the room and introduced himself, he was Andrew and was my partner for the day. Three others joined us and after a quick natter we were all set to start. However, what was quite strange, were the actors. Not that they were strange but they were look- a-likes of the Royal family so suddenly Prince Harry was asking about the coffee, Kate was sorting out her make up and the Queen was sorting out an outfit whilst Prince Phillip needed help choosing a tie. It was a very odd feeling as they all seemed very real and it wasn't just me that felt like that judging by the crowd when we went outside!  As for myself and Andrew, our job was to hold hands and to walk up and down and give reaction shots to the fact that the Queen and her family, including a royal corgi were walking down the street to go in to Pizza Hut. Tourists stopped in their tracks to see Kate, Harry, Andrew walking up and down the road. A couple of guys who swaggered around thinking they were very cool, actually thought they were  talking to Kate and Andrew! Not so cool, guys!

Next we returned to the Green room to wait whilst the next shot could be prepared. It wasn't long before the director called out my name and Andrew and I were placed on a table near to the Royal family. They were very interesting to watch as each of them took on their roles. They were very respectful of their characters too and said that they always considered their characters when accepting jobs and deciding  whether to take a job on or not. Mary, who played Queen Elizabeth remained very dignified throughout and was a real joy to talk to especially when she spoke of her time at London Airport when tourists thought she was the real deal!
The Crown Crust Pizza was brought over but we couldn't  eat any of it. It all looked delicious but had been sat around being photographed for a couple of hours so we didn't dare try it. Meanwhile the Royals had theirs, freshly baked but little was eaten as they were all on diets!
One of the Supporting Artists was told to go home leaving just four of us. We suspected that it was the way he behaved in front of the camera, trying look in to the camera and almost blocking  the Royals. It's never a good idea to upstage actors especially when it's Royalty!!