The Corporate

I was approached via my website - somebody wanted to consider me for a part in a  corporate - fully paid. It was to play the part of a boss in a company - my script would be sent asap. I agreed and began to learn the script which was fairly short. It didn't seem too difficult so when the audition was set up I felt fairly confident. However, 24 hours before the audition another script was emailed over. It was a bigger part and I would be playing the Company Director. The trouble was that both the scripts were  fairly similar with the same  'business speak' words so one script kept turning into another....Anyway 24 hours later I found myself in Central London dressed in business wear and waiting anxiously to be seen. At that point I still had the two scripts - one that I had learnt and the other which was very roughly learned. I was also in panto playing two different roles so just had to hope that that didn't enter in to things!! I walked into a white room with an oblong table. Along one side sat three men whilst I sat on the other side. After the initial introductions I was asked to audition for the part of the Company Director. This threw me slightly as I had expected to say the first learnt script. Fortunately, it was OK to read it and as I had roughly learnt it the night before I didn't have to have my head stuck to the script! 

"OK now can you do it in an American accent?"

Now, I can do accents but first I like to study them. That way I find I can imitate them much better. However, I took a deep breath and launched into what can only be described as the worst possible American accent ever!! 

"Can you do a German or European accent?" This time to save my blushes I replied,

"If I could hear the accent you are after then I would be happy to imitate it for you."

"Can you learn an American accent?" By now, the audition clearly wasn't going too well so I began to relax as obviously I hadn't got the part.

"Well, from which part of the USA? My sons girl-friend is from Arizona and could teach me their accent which is pretty soft sounding."

That seemed to go down well - phew!

All of a sudden we had finished so with the knowledge that there was no way they were going to give me the part I began to walk towards the lift when another man appeared. It turned out that he was the writer. I had to go back into the room and do it all over again and yes, even the american accent!
 By the time it was over I knew I hadn't got the part but well, I tried and if you don't try then you'll never know.
A day or so later I received an email:  You impressed myself and David so much we would like to offer you the part . Would it be possible for you to practice in the Arizonian accent as well. We will probably film two versions. English and American so we have the choice.
WHAT?! Surely this was a mistake? Maybe they had sent the wrong email to the wrong person? I responded with: To say I'm shocked is the understatement of the year! 
But of course I accepted the part.
Six days later I found myself in Old Street in the most amazing apartment. The type you see in magazines - all white and glass and everything hidden - including the doors! This wasn't what I was expecting at all because when I had rehearsed it I assumed I would be sitting behind a desk or standing up. Yet here was a large settee and a man being 'interviewed' in front of the camera about the business using his own accent and an Indian accent. Thank goodness I hadn't got that one!
Make up checks were fine (I'm used to doing my own) and hair brushed then it was off upstairs. Aha! There was a desk and two chairs after all. Presenter sat opposite with the camera just off his left shoulder and I launched into the American accent with everybody round me and looking intently at me. I finished and breathed.....they all smiled - they liked it! Thank goodness for that! Lunch was postponed (forever as it turned out) but after a quick cuppa we were ready to roll. As it was all 'business speak' there was certain terminology that I wasn't sure about so a couple of explanations were made and the monologue altered accordingly. American done  now for the BBC accent....The trouble was, I had spent so long on the American accent that I hadn't really practised it in English ...
there were certainly a few starts and stops along the way as English slipped into American!
Finally it was in the bag and time for me to run home to make myself in to an old lady/ Beauty Therapist  for the pantos opening night. Luckily I made it with time to spare. What a great job!
 

Vegetaria!

I noticed a plea from  an agency on facebook. They wanted someone to appear in a vegan advert but weren't going to handle the job themselves as it was a favour to a client. Although I didn't belong to this agency, I thought I would apply. After various emails going back and forth I was invited to a costume fitting at the American church in Tottenham Court Road. As usual I arrived early and tried to get in.... The front door was locked and had no sign of a bell to ring. I wandered around to the back to another door. This time there were plenty of buzzers to press for attention but which one?!

Eventually somebody went in and I grabbed my chance and ran in behind. No signs anywhere. I could hear singing downstairs so thought I could try there and at least I could find somebody to ask.

It  turned out to be a rehearsal for the musical "We Will Rock You." Well, I didn't think I was quite suitable for that one so tried another room and found somebody connected with the vegan advert. At least I knew i was now in the right place! I was to wait upstairs until they were ready for me. Where  there's a costume fitting, theres a wait. An older man joined me and told me that he had been for a casting for the advert and that everyone working on it was supposed to be vegan. Oops.... 

I was finally called downstairs and walked in to find a young man in a boiler suit with fruit being attached to his groin. OK, so now I was getting worried - what on earth was going on and what would be expected from me?! One of the costume people must have seen the look on my face and said,

"Don't worry the fruit and veg are only for the men."

Thank goodness for that. Eventually myself and a younger  lady who was we supposed, meant to play my daughter were asked to sit down in a couple of chairs and pretend that we were in a car looking at the man in the boiler suit. That was it. Nothing else. I was surprised as they were paying for me to go to the costume fitting and really they could have saved their money.  As I signed the release forms I was given the date for the filming which was to be 2 days later at a different location.

Friday arrived and I got to location in time for a coffee and a chat with a  couple of the others. The girl playing my daughter turned up and quietly explained that she wasn't vegan either. We were called off to the minibus and driven to location which turned out to be a car wash garage. Our guy in the boiler suit was dancing to music with the various veggies and fruit moving in all their full glory! I began to wonder what was expected of us.... We were called in and asked to sit on a couple of chairs so that we looked as if we were the car wash customers. I thought it looked a bit odd personally as the boiler suit guy was doing such a good job I felt that we were somehow interrupting what was a good bit of filming. Anyway there we say until the Director asked us to go and dance around the boiler suit man. Now, I can pretty much do anything without too much embarrassment thanks to acting classes but this poor girl who I was with was totally mortified. She didn't act at all and in fact it turned out that she was a friend of the crew. Anyway, we danced away much to everyones amusement and were finally released for lunch - veggie thai curry which is a particular fav of mine so when the Director came and gave thanks to us and to release us, he also asked us to stay for lunch. Yummy!

Here's the link -   its no surprise that we were cut out but it's still a great watch!

http://youtu.be/OYwjjTuZsxM

Stick Imagery

An agency that I had almost forgotten about about sent me a text asking if I could be a stand in. It would involve learning a biography so that I could portray the character as closely as possible.  I presumed that this was a random text, said Yes, and didn't think any more about it. I certainly didn't think I would hear from them again. All of a sudden, the phone rang and  the agency explained that the producer wanted my  Spotlight link. Now although I have had several featured and speaking roles, my main work is with Corporate filming which Spotlight refuse to recognise. Anyway, through the power of persuasion and giving them lots of work which included theatre work (it proved a point that I could learn a script) I finally received a call on the Thursday to say I was booked for the next week for one possibly two days. Excellent news, in fact so good that I went out to celebrate and fortunately only had a couple of drinks because when I got back there was a message to say that I was needed for the next day and please could I learn the biog for that day as I couldn't have the script with me....Gulp! I downloaded the biog - all 9 pages of it.

After very little sleep, I caught the train to Camden, found the production offices and went in to meet the cast. It was a little bit daunting sitting, waiting in reception whilst people you recognise and are about to work with walk past you. Eventually I was invited in to the room. This was a large room that looked as if it had been set up for a board meeting with a large table in the middle. I sat down and nodded 'Hello' to people who were very quickly being introduced to me.  The script was read through, adjustments made and then we broke for coffee whilst chairs were rearranged to mimic the set that would later be filmed.  The character I was standing in for was to be interviewed and the  idea was for me to imitate the character as closely as possible. I had to walk in to the make shift set, sit down and be interviewed giving as full answers as possible. Luckily, I liked the character that I was standing in for so when reading the biography I had retained some interesting facts about her life. As part of the show, the character would have to remain on set for the full 45 minutes and be continually brought into conversation even when the next guest was interviewed. Any of the cast could ask questions and all this in front of a panel of writers who changed the script according to my reactions and answers. Lunch was called - a delicious cold buffet - after which the writers went away to look at the script and to write in some extra details. It was decided that the rest of us could all go home as there was little else to be done. I have to say that it was a little odd walking along the street to the tube station with the cast of the Kumars!

I arrived home and noticed a missed call. It was from the producer. Oh crap! What if he didn't like my portrayal of the character? Had I  learnt enough? I didn't  have time to waste as I was appearing in Radio Plays that were in front of an audience that night so I just had to bite the bullet and return the call. Producer was very happy and could I stay for another five days? The fifth day would involve doing the dress rehearsal at the London Studios - would I be OK for that? Errrm...now let me see.... Of course I would!!

Off I went to perform the Radio Plays and during the interval my mobile rang - I was also booked for a Corporate on the Sunday - it was starting to get busy!!

Monday loomed - I had spent any spare time researching yet more material for the person I was standing in for. I wanted to find out things that the Kumars wouldn't know because otherwise they could pre-empt my answers and it wouldn't be possible to do that in the real life  situation. This time the rehearsal rooms were in Kings Cross with a lovely late call time of 10am. Of course on arrival,  breakfast had to be eaten before any work could be undertaken. Another actor joined us named James who would  stand in for a well known actor. We sat at the table looking over  our  biogs eating our breakfasts put together by a lovely lady named Tara. Soon it was time to start work and I was up first. Again no paperwork was allowed so I had to 'morph' into my character. Fortunatly it went very well and when it was James turn I had to stay and answer any questions that were sent my way. It was a wonderful day and everyone got to  know each other a lot better so everyone felt comfortable with one another. On my way out, I popped in to the writers and gave them my research on the person I was imitating . They seemed to be quite relieved and asked if I could research the other character too but  I declined that offer!

The week continued with a lady named Jo  who joined us as a stand in for the singer that was also to be interviewed. On Friday, however, it was all change. Jo and I arrived at the London Studios, signed in and were shown to our Green room and more importantly where the coffee was! James joined us and just as I was about to take my first slurp of coffee...

"Everybody on set!"

Wait a minute, no breakfast and now no coffee???!

A microphone was given to me to wear and then it was on to set where 5 cameras were aimed at us. During the following hour, I developed the worst headache - the kind that just isn't going to go away and thanks to the kindness of the cast I was soon clutching tablets and a glass of water.

Finally, lunch was called and we rushed to the canteen to wolf down the chicken dinner and to grab a quick coffee. The afternoon continued with Michael Ball making an appearance in the form of an advert - all in the name of comedy of course!

Evening came and the studio audience began to arrive. James and Jo had gone out to grab some fresh air and some food and left me to concentrate on putting together a  small script. I had been asked  to provide the voice for Bindya, Sanjeevs ex-wife. The audience would not be able to  hear what I was saying but the actor I had to speak to on the phone would. I had to devise a short paragraph to explain to the actor that the daughter would be picked up in one hour. It was up to me how I delieved this so in my best Indian accent (Oh dear..) I told the actor (this was live) that I had been having a crisis with George Clooney and a project we were working on which was  why I was late picking up the daughter. The actor was so taken with this that he repeated it to the audience and totally forgot to say that the daughter would be picked up so luckily one of the cast improvised saying they had received a text explaining the lateness!

Finally the show ended and it was hugs and kisses all round. And Yes, I finally got to meet the person I had been impersonating all week and very thankfully she had responded to all the questions in a very similiar way to me. 

So who were all these people? The actor James stood in for was Tom Hiddlestone,  Jo stood in for Amy McDonald and as for me? I was Twiggy, the famous icon of the 60s and now the model for M&S!

Anoushka

I was asked via a website if I would consider taking part in a Dirctors workshop. The idea was that six Directors  would try a new method of direction on me and I would act it out with a script. Well, it sounded exciting so why not? Off I went to Swiss Cottage for 2.30 call time. It was being organised inside somebodys 'bejou' house. It was delightful but it was very small. There were a couple of people just finishing off their session in front of me so I holed up in the kitchen with a very welcoming cup of coffee and pretended not to listen through the hatch that was in the wall...well it was open, what did they expect?! It turned out not to matter too much as their script was entirely different to the one I was going to act out. My partner for the scenario turned up and was a strapping muscle bound , tall, gorgeous black young man. I only mention what he was like because he was about to become my son... Not only was he about to become my son, he was going to play my infant son. 

Warm up exercises first which were a series of mirrored movement using both facial and body movements.  The script was briefly explained and we could ask questions whenever we needed. 

 So, the first scenario was to talk and play with 'my son' as if he were a baby. Now, I am 5'3" so having this huge man on my lap - head in my lap as it were - was a little unusual. Anyway, we played the game and he happily chortled away whilst I sang lullabies and stroked his hair. At this stage, I think we were both glad that we weren't looking at each other.....

Next came improvisation. I had to get my now grown up son to the phone. He had earlier gone to a job interview that he didn't want and my job was to get him to the phone. His job was to remain sullen and refuse to go to the phone preferring instead, to stay inside his bedroom. This went on for a while but eventually he looked as if he was going to answered the phone when nope! he scuttled back inside his room. 

Next scenario was that my character had cancer and had recently come out of hospital and was returning home. My son hadn't been to visit and clearly didn't welcome her home, or that's what it looked like. In truth, it was because he was scared he was going to lose her and if he didn't interact with her then that would never happen. This part  was scripted and had to be very quickly learnt.

It was a really interesting role to have played and fun to see how Directors were learning from a Mentoring Director that was looking after them. Whether any more comes from it - I will just have to wait and see!

The Football Wannabes!

Text: Can you play a football fan, in blue,  for a well known newspaper ad?

I had a scarf, a hat, ...well, that would do wouldn't it?  

I arrived at Watford Football club for the call time of 7.30 am sporting any blue clothes that I could lay my hands on  and was directed to the parking spaces. We were quickly ushered into the restaurant where a welcoming display of croissants, danish pastries, sausages and bacon rolls with hot pots of tea or coffee awaited us. I sat down at one of the round tables and was joined by a friend of mine, Derek. The table soon filled up and banter flowed around the table as if we had all known each other for some time. However, the time soon came when we eventually we had to go to work. Filming was outside and as we were directed to our seats in the stand, we were given extra blue clothes such as t shirts, scarves and flags. I was split up from the people  on my table and soon found myself sandwiched between two people who were the sort of people I dread. You can always tell these people as the first words they usually say are not an introduction to their name but:

"Hello, I'm not really an extra, I'm actually an actor."

Nothing in the world gets my back up more than hearing this. If I am talking  to a trained actor, it will come out during the conversation. However, with wannabe actors, the need to establish themselves as an actor in the opening sentence is always a necessity  especially if they are failing wannabe actors... 

I asked them if they had had any training. Both answered no. Perhaps, I thought they might have some stage experience. Again no. Strangely enough both had agents, although I am sure it would be debatable as to how good these agents were in the light of lack of experience and training these wannabes had. One of them was very excited that he had gone for an audition for Emmerdale. Had he got it? No. 

The other had gone for  a role in a film - had he got it? No. 

I spoke to them about training and perhaps getting a few workshops under their belts or maybe the odd days acting seminars to help them out. Apparently, you don't need any of this, you just need to feel that you can act.....

I daresay these two are still not doing very much and I dread the time when I meet them again as I am sure I will do.

I resisted the temptation to tell them, when my  mobile rang in a tea break that I had just been offered a speaking role in a film....